- Who's our first caller? - Rita on line four.
She's feeling overwhelmed at home.
Hello, Rita. l'm listening.
Dr Crane, thank you for taking my call.
l tell you, l...
l am about to lose my mind.
l am raising four kids by myself. The oldest one isn't even seven.
The other three are all under five.
Between cooking, cleaning and changing diapers...
tripping over toys...
l feel sometimes like l'm about to snap.
What should l do?
Have you considered getting a puppy?
lt's not that l don't like him, but he's gotten so attached.
l mean, roses every day after two dates!
Maggie, first thing you have to do
is sit Gavin down for a nice long conversation.
Tell him frankly that, though he wants to go at one speed,
you need to go at another.
Tell him you're not rejecting him, you are fond of him, but...
l wonder what Roz, my non-PhD-holding producer, thinks.
Any guy who's that clingy after two dates has a major insecurity problem.
l say, ''Dump him. Now. And don't look back. ''
lt's so good to hear that, Roz.
That's what l wanted to do, but l felt so guilty. Thanks so much. Bye.
That takes us to commercial.
Edna, on line two, is a receptionist at a pest control firm. She's depressed.
Hello, Edna. l'm listening.
Hello, Dr Crane. l've been working in pest control for 1 5 years.
l go in every day, answer the same calls, ask the same questions.
''What kind of bugs? Have you seen any droppings?''
Then l go to the next person. ''What kind of bugs?''
Edna, l can sense where this is going.
Even the most interesting life can become routine.
You need to shake up your world.
Find a new boyfriend, a new job, a new city.
- You mean move? - Well...
There are easier places to cheer up than this dreary, soggy city of ours.
Dr Crane, you're right. l don't have to stay here.
When you think about it, there's a whole world of vermin out there.
Eloquently put, Edna. Thank you.
Speaking of vermin... ''When that special rat of yours
''turns its toes up for the last time,
''don't forget your friends at Pet Paradise.
''Pet Paradise. When a shoebox isn't enough. ''
How can you say Seattle is depressing?
l've spent 40 years here, working the graveyard shift at a salmon cannery.
And, let me tell you, you fatheaded moron,
l'm the most cheerful person you'll ever meet.
Certainly the most cheerful one l've met today.